We still don't know what happens to Kylo Ren.
You've never paid off a new car before.
What does caviar with creme fresh taste like? More importantly, it will take some time to learn to like it, so...
Quitting on life during the Trump Presidency is too mainstream.
Do you want to be someone who resigns from this planet without mastering the art of loose leaf tea?
You haven't even started on the canonical Star Wars novels.
No one can trash on a bad Lord of the Rings adaptation quite like you.
Poets who don't stick it out get remembered... and put on coffee mugs as a joke.
You told yourself you would watch Thor: Ragnarok. Don't become a dirty liar right at the end of the game.
You haven't been surfing in a while. Don't let that turn into "you never did go back to surfing."
You have a couple packages that haven't arrived in the mail. That's just mean.
There is inadequate mileage on your favorite backpack and also on most of your shoes.
You could use a haircut. That seems like something that you should get done first.
Expanding on number 8: being a tortured artist is only funny if it's not 100% true.
There's probably rehearsal. Or a deadline.
Not repaying your student loans is stealing from the government.
You've never designed the inside of a room (beyond: "wow, this drawer set is only $20!)
That one type of button-down shirt cut that you love isn't going to be in season for a little while.
There's a book you're in the middle of reading that you don't really like too much. People seriously overreach interpretively if you leave books unfinished.
You don't own red shoes. A life is incomplete without a pair of red shoes.
No one - and I mean no one - will know what to make of the absolute chaos you call your sock collection.
You can't say with any authority which translation of any book you like is your actual favorite. Come on. Stick with it long enough to have a favorite.
It's more realistic to wait for Greatest Showman to come out on DVD than it is to see it in theaters, anyway.
Your computer is too new. Someone will try to say you would have wanted them to have it.
That file on your computer labelled "tattoos?" It's not empty.
More than 1,000 songs on your iTunes have no rating.
There is always the possibility that Disney will have a super special edition of Star Wars where there is the option to have R2-D2 subtitles.
People still don't understand Fight Club.
No one but you will be able to figure out which books you were planning on giving away.
There are far too many pairs of very wearable jeans in your collection that make your butt look awesome.
Manic pixie dream girls are only fun if they are neither manic nor imaginary/memory.
You haven't read The Bell Jar or Anna Karenina.
Admit it: you are kind of curious about whether or not Kylie is pregnant.
Your roots are showing.
Passion Pit is still making music - or at least, you don't have all their music.
Your diaries from that weird adolescent period aren't old enough yet.
You have a lot of essential oils that you have opened but have not finished using.
Why not just buy a new baseball hat? That always makes you feel like a badass.
Speaking of purchases, you should own a watch that didn't come from WalMart. Quitters don't get watches.
A few of your friends have never actually seen Legally Blonde. Some of them haven't even seen The Princess Diaries.
This is what the patriarchy wants.
In addition to other household chores, it is your turn to clean the toilet.
Cannot say with certainty Narnia doesn't exist.
Current "books owned and read" to "books owned and unread" is too high.
You've never seen the sunrise and the sunset on the same day.
Giving up takes all the fun out of trying to destroy you from your enemies. Don't be a fun sucker.
You haven't ridden a horse in your adult life.
Infinity War comes out in this very calendar year!
Literally none of your friends can match your writing style close enough to finish your stories. The break would be way. too. obvious.
At least finish the current box of greeting cards first.
You said you'd watch Stranger Things.
The new season of Daredevil isn't out.
The trailer for Jessica Jones season 2 makes it clear that this a show you'll need to binge... again...
The car still has a full (mostly full?) tank of gas.
Maybe just try going to the beach.
The long-running prank you've been working on has not been taken to its fullest possible extent.
You've only eaten your favorite pasta dish once. Just... get some pasta instead?
You're out of Dr. Pepper. That's a fixable problem.
Most of your super great Lush exfoliant hasn't been used yet.
You literally opened a new tube of toothpaste this morning.
Your music collection is sadly lacking in hip-hop and rap and R&B. Again, this is an unacceptable and yet very fixable problem.
Who would go through the junk drawers?
No one else at your job has particularly legible handwriting.
Do you even remember when you last had good ramen?
You just bought new socks.

Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash